10 things you should never say to your lover

Abuja - Sometimes silence is golden, but
sometimes there are things that need to be
said. Its best to think before you speak.
The last thing you’d want is for your
partner to dump you over something you
didn’t even mean to say.
‘Are you really going to walk out dressed
like that?’
If it’s mine then chances are I like it.
There’s already so much pressure for girls
to look flawless and picture perfect.
So, she doesn’t need to be told by you that
she’s not meeting the standards.
She bought that item of clothing because
she liked it- she feels good in it. Unless
you have the money to buy a new wardrobe
for her then maybe you should keep your
comments to yourself and love her for who
she is not what she wears.
‘Babe, let’s hit the gym’
This one reminds me of a song by Ruben
Studdard that goes: “Why you wanna
change me, flip all the things that really
make me the way that I am…you used to
like your big old teddy bear…”
If you met in the Burger King queue and
he/she told you about their love for junk
foods then don’t expect him/her to become
a vegan now that you’re dating.
You can only bring up the gym idea if you
notice that your partner has gained some
weight and it’s having an impact on their
health. And even then, be tactful about it.
Everyone is insecure about their body
image and the last thing you’d want to do
is hurt your lover’s feelings.
‘If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell
anyone else!’
Nobody likes a Gossiping Gertrude unless
of course Gertrude is your close friend who
enjoys gossip just as much as you do.
Don’t fill the silence with gossip.
If you find that you have nothing to say to
each other maybe you should have a
make-out session or call it a night and go
to sleep.
If word gets out and the trail leads back to
you guys, it could get you into serious
trouble and may even hamper your
relationship.
‘My ex did the exact same thing’
If you’re looking for an express ticket to
Dumpville, then, yeah, bring up your ex.
The only time your partner wants to hear
about your ex is NEVER.
It’s not nice being compared to someone
even if they were a complete douchebag
and you’re just this ball of amazingness.
It shows that you still think about your ex
and maybe aren’t over him/her. Your ex is
old news and it’s time to focus on what’s
right in front of you.
‘This song reminds me of my ex’
Again, ex-stories are a no go area. Think
before you talk, even if it’s something as
simple as a song, movie or a joke. Some
things are better left unsaid.
‘Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine’
Girls are guilty of saying this. We say it but
we don’t mean it. It’s actually our way of
saying “my world is falling apart and I just
need you to hold me and tell me that
everything will be fine” or “I’m so mad at
you right now.”
If you’re guilty of doing this - stop it! Your
partner can’t read your mind. In a
relationship, communication is very
important.
You need to verbalise your thoughts instead
of harboring them. If you don’t, you might
just end up exploding at your partner and
then start bringing up unattended issues
from three years ago.
If something is bothering you rather deal
with it right there and then.
‘If you really love me…’
A relationship should not have terms and
conditions, that’s what your job is for. If
your partner uses this line to try guilt trip
you into doing something, then please do
yourself a favour and dump that loser.
It is a mild form of manipulation and
actually shows weakness. If you would like
your partner to do something for you just
ask them, chances are they’ll say yes
anyways, and if they don’t, you’ll just have
to accept that.
‘Just chill- you’re overreacting’
“Telling a girl to calm down works about
as well as trying to baptize a cat”-
@BroCulture (twitter)
In other words, she will not calm down.
Girls are sensitive and take a lot of the
things guys say to heart.
From the guy’s perspective it probably isn’t
even coming from a hurtful place, maybe
she is being over the top and does need to
take a chill pill; but try finding a more
diplomatic way of telling her to calm
down.
‘Babe stop being so insecure, he/she is
just a friend’
If your partner voices out their concern
about you spending too much time with a
friend of the opposite sex or being too
friendly with them, respect their worry and
maybe cut down just a little on your over-
friendliness.
Your partner will notice and it will mean a
lot. So, instead of being a little insensitive
rather reassure your partner about the true
love you have for them.
‘You’re always too busy for me’
Unless your partner spends 25 hours a day
at work or with his friends or anywhere
away from you, then don’t say this. It
comes across as needy and as if you have
nothing going on in your life. Remember,
your partner is an individual, not an
extension of you.